Day 24: San Francisco, California

Oh dear, oh dear. San Francisco does a pretty good impression of British weather! Today it poured and poured all day. We decided to ditch our plans of a walk around the city and opted for a bus tour. Finding one that wasn’t completely open top was a chore but we did manage it and chose to go over the Golden Gate Bridge and back. The route skirted round China Town, bypassed Pacific Heights where the swanky Victorian houses are and took us across the bay for 15 wet minutes of not-so-happy snapping.

We were sitting on the partially covered top which was only partially steamed up so we did manage to see something of the city’s views. Unfortunately that was about it. On our return journey we stopped off at Lombard Street to climb a grueling three blocks to get to the top of the ‘most crooked street in the world’ and then walked to another Fisherman’s Wharf to find somewhere to dry off.

After lunch we decided to cut our losses and head back and enjoy our rather luxurious hotel. After peeling off our layers of sopping wet clothes and draping them around the room to dry, we all nestled into bed to make full use of the free wifi and big screen TV. Only a couple of hours until our free cocktails at four!
Luckily the day was redeemed by meeting chatting with a very nice couple from Austin in the cocktail lounge and then having the best meal of our trip in Chinatown. We had to queue to get in and share a table once we were in but the waitress chose everything for us and it was a delicious meal - all for under $100!
Today’s Tune: If You're Going to San Francisco (be sure to wear some flowers in your hair) by Scott McKenzie
Wildlife Watch: I think it would have to be the considerable number of ‘down and outs’ living on the streets of San Francisco

Day 23: San Francisco, California

First stop the Monterey Aquarium, just as the doors were opening. What a place and well worth delaying our trip to San Francisco. This one time capital of the sardine canning world now draws the visitors with its world-class aquarium.

We spent an absorbing morning ogling the sea otters, meditating over the ethereal jelly fish and touching up the sea cucumbers. The building is set right on the bay, now a national marine sanctuary, so when you’ve seen everything outside, simply step outside and enjoy the creatures in their natural environment. We had lunch in the mega-healthy restaurant watching the sea otters enjoying their lunch in the bay’s kelp forest.

Two hours later, we arrived in an equally cold and overcast San Francisco. This was the city I have been longing to see; the antithesis of all things Virginian and described by the Lonely Planet as the place where the envelope goes when it’s pushed. First impressions? I really couldn’t see it. In fact, we couldn’t see a great deal thanks to the weather. By the time we left the hotel, the fog had well and truly rolled in and we couldn’t even make out the Golden Gate Bridge from the dockside where we decided to eat. We decided to cut our losses, grab a taxi and head back to the hotel. Maybe tomorrow would dawn clear and blue.
Today’s Tune: Do You Know the Way to San Jose by Dionne Warwick (we passed it en route to San Francisco)
Wildlife Watch: Yet more sea lions, this time in the San Francisco Bay

Day 22: Monterey, California

The children started the day with a swim in the heated pool (not pink, surprisingly) and Mark and I caught up on finances and blogs. We headed into San Luis for a traditional Sunday brunch and then drove up HWY1, along the Big Sur coast, all the way to Monterey. We decided to avoid the Hearst Castle due to lack of time and several disappointing USA house tours (they always seem to be run like something out of a concentration camp).

The Big Sur scenery more than made up for it. HWY1 was finally cut through the 5,000ft high cliffs rising from the Pacific Ocean in 1937 after 20 years of convict labour and several fatalities. It’s California’s first scenic route and is an incredible drive. Luckily we were tackling it in the northern direction so I managed to bag the cliff side seat. The land has resisted development but there are several villages along the route and some some breathtaking houses literally perched on the cliff edge. The road is narrow, twisting and, on a Sunday afternoon, packed with sluggish traffic. There were many signs of rock falls, mud slides and brush fires along the way. Our scariest moment was when we stopped to take pictures at a viewpoint on the outside of a blind curve. Just as we were snapping away an MR2 came shooting down the road and slammed on his brakes because of the curve; the car span out of contro

l into the opposite lane, skirting the cliff edge and, miraculously, regained control to carry on round the bend. Mark and I were still recovering our nerves when the car reappeared in the opposite direction, pulled over and the driver calmly got out to admire the view. That was one lucky 19-year-old!

We pulled into Monterey late afternoon and, after unloading the car and doing yet more washing, drove off in search of the aquarium and something to eat. Heading north, the temperature had dropped considerably, the wind had picked up and the fog was rolling in so layers and layers of clothes were necessary. He shivered our way round Fishermans’ Wharf and opted for an Italian fish supper with a view of the sea lions and one sea elephant whilst we ate!
Today’s Tune: Big Sur by Mason Jennings (a mate of Jack Johnson)
Wildlife Watch: Californian sea lions

Day 21: San Luis Obispo, California

None of us felt too sad packing up the tent this morning, the crowds had poured in for the weekend last night and we woke up to a full campsite – pretty unpleasant when there’s only two showers serving over 60 tents!

We set off about eleven, heading north up HWY1/FWY101. We decided to stop in Santa Barbara, about 100 miles up the coast, for lunch and were bowled over by how fantastic it was. The city was destroyed by an earthquake in 1929 and the great and the good came up with a rigid town plan for the rebuilding. Thanks to these rigid planning laws, downtown Santa Barbara is a stunning array of classic Spanish architecture, shady patios, tiled benches and oodles of bougainvillea. As a result it looks more like a Mediterranean village than the modern city it really is. We showed up a couple of hours after they’d celebrated the Summer Solstice with a very wacky carnival and the streets were awash with confetti and colourful characters (including several men wearing nothing but thongs made out of leaves!).
We fell in love with California all over again and decided this was one of the nicest places we’d visited on our trip.

Our overwhelming sense of good cheer was further enhanced by stumbling across an genuinely authentic fish and chip shop (yes the man cooking was truly British and the waitress understood what loo meant) where we all had proper fish ‘n’ chips complete with mushy peas, malt vinegar and British beer with Wimbledon on in the background. We decided to walk off our lunch with a stroll to the county court house which is hailed as one of the nicest state buildings in California.

A handcrafted Spanish Revival monument nestling in lush tropical gardens, in didn’t disappoint and was breathtaking in its detail. Tristan was particularly thrilled by the number of weddings taking place, especially the one we joined at the top of the clock tower, and desperately tried to muscle his way into the photos.
Back on the road, we decide to head away from the coast for a short distance and drive through California wine country to our next stop, the iconic Madonna Inn at San Luis Obispo. This hotel is one of California’s most noteworthy pop culture landmarks. Nestling in the north end of town, it is a big pink fluffy bubble of kitschness – even the fire hydrants are pink. There are over 100 rooms, each one unique and decorated along a fantasy theme; the bright pink honeymoon suite known as ‘Just Heaven’, the ‘Safari Room’ covered in fake zebra print and green shagpile and the ‘Cave Man Room’ which is pretty much just that.

We were staying in the relatively sober ‘Fox and Hound Room’ which features hunting wallpaper on just about everything, lots of dark wooden furniture and faux oil paintings of English hunting scenes. Rather out of theme was the extraordinary toilet that featured an electronic ‘bidet’ system that could be controlled by a digital panel on the wall. Depending on your needs, it could be programmed to give you either a thorough washing or gentle cleansing and directed to the front or back bottom! Unfortunately none of us were brave enough to try it.
Today’s Tune: Ventura by America (thanks to Nick Spencer for this suggestion – we passed through Ventura on our way to Santa Barbara).
Wildlife Watch: Unfortunately there were no hunting trophies on our bedroom wall to fill this spot, so I think it would have to be the extraordinarily attired men we saw on the streets of Santa Barbara.

Day 20: Malibu, California

We could put off the inevitable no longer, the theme parks were calling. Having avoided visiting any in our two year stay in the US we felt we couldn’t deprive the children any longer. It was toss-up between Universal Studios and Disney World; we ignored the advice of our fellow campers and opted for Universal – mainly because it was 30 miles closer.
It was the right decision as Universal proved to be a huge hit all round, despite costing an arm and a leg (and that was with military discount). The theme park is set in the studio complex and part of the visit is a 45 minute tram ride around the outdoor sets and past the sound stages that are still in use. We didn’t spot any stars en route – the tour avoids the stages currently in use and is closed to any sets were filming is actually taking place – but it was thrilling nonetheless.

Outdoor sets included Hill Valley – the town square used in all the Back to the Future films which was also used for the courthouse in To Kill a Mockingbird. We also saw the New York brownstone houses which have been used in too many films to mention, the Wild West, old Mexico, a London street, jungle, the Psycho motel, the plane crash for War of the Worlds and Wisteria Avenue from Desperate Housewives (spookily similar to Baycliff in Virginia Beach!). What was so incredible was the amount of times the sets have been ‘redressed’ and used over and over again. As we drove through each set, the trams’ onboard screens would show clips of all the different movies filmed in those locations and it was absolutely fascinating. Wisteria Avenue was gearing up for filming of the next series so the picket fences were being repainted and the Wisteria spruced up with fake flowers. The highlight was the new 3D King Kong experience which involved the tram being driven into a big tunnel and undergoing a bashing by the brute himself. It was frighteningly realistic and involved much screaming from Mummy much to the boys’ delight. We also suffered flash floods in old Mexico, a terrifying earthquake in the New York metro and a run-in with Norman Bates.

Luckily we survived all disasters and went on to enjoy shows featuring animal actors from Universal films (most notably Marmaduke’s girlfriend and several stars from hotels for dogs); a re-enactment of Waterworld complete with generous soakings, pyrotechnics and real film stars (so Merryn claims – I’m sure they were only extras and most of them seemed to come from CSI) and a visual effects extravaganza which involved some poor bloke being catapulted through space. Every show was expertly put together, completely fascinating and loved by all.

The only downside was poor old Merryn managed to lose her iPod in all the excitement.
Today’s Tune: The Universal theme music which was played where ever we went and drove us all round the bend; just like it is on the DVDs, you couldn’t skip it.
Professional Wildlife Watch: Too many to mention but the children want it to go to the orangutan who showed up on stage in her towel and shower cap.

Day 19: Malibu, California

Awoke relatively early and enjoyed our morning cup of tea watching the fog burn off the mountains and enjoying the antics of a mole foraging for his breakfast. Our campsite is dangerously pockmarked with mole and ground squirrel holes and, every morning, a fresh crop has sprung up around our tent. American moles are nothing like British moles; they are closer to large gerbils. Relatively timid, it’s quite unusual to see them out their holes although occasionally their heads will pop up. This morning our local mole became increasingly confidently and came right out his hole to gather fresh leaves for his breakfast.

We packed up a picnic lunch and, in the company of another family the children had become friendly with, we set off to the Rock Pool. Set off the backcountry trail, the Rock Pool is a large and very deep pool surrounded by cliffs and large rocks, perfect for ‘tomb stoning’ off into the clear water. It’s not something the rangers encourage but, in true California style, they can’t stop it so now they just embrace it and remind people to look before they leap. The pool is most famous for possibly the first tomb stoning shot on celluloid; Paul Newman and Robert Redford leaping off the rocks in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. That scene was shot here and the locals have been doing the same ever since.

It was another beautiful location and, thanks to it being a weekday, not too busy. The boys were straight in the water and desperate to follow the tricks of the locals who were scaling the rocky cliffs and doing swallow dives from about 20ft. Needless to say Mummy the Fun Sucker put a stop to that and limited them to a couple of ledges and feet first. Mark and Merryn soon plucked up courage to follow suit and I paddled around in the shallows. A glorious way to spend a couple of hours in the sunshine and not a raindrop in sight!
Today’s Tune: Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Wildlife Watch: The Mole who lives in our hole!

Day 18: Malibu, California

We left for Hollywood mid-morning, thinking we’d avoid the traffic. How wrong we were! It seems whatever time of day or night you drive in the environs of LA, you will hit hideous traffic, and we did. After a hot and sweaty drive that should have taken less than 30 minutes but took over an hour, we arrived in downtown Hollywood. We parked in the new mall that is an attempt to spruce up the area but isn’t doing a particularly good job, and, along with thousands of others, hit the Walk of Fame. The whole experience was a bit of a disappointment in much the same way Vegas was; busy, dirty, slightly sordid and hideously expensive. The poor children spent most of the time walking up and down the ‘sidewalk’ saying, “Who’s this? Who’s that?”
In the end we had no choice but to sign up to the ubiquitous tour of the stars’ homes. For the first time since we left Virginia, the boys were starting to bicker – tired and fractious. We hadn’t budgeted for this – planning on saving our money for Universal Studios – but were beginning to lose the will to live and decided a couple of hours sitting on an open top bus was probably worth it. We opted for the cut price tour. Big mistake! We ended up squashed into the back of a cut-off van with a driver-cum-tour-guide who none of us could understand.

By the time he mentioned whose house was whose, we’d driven past. Nevertheless we did have a drive round Beverly Hills and Bel Air which were surprisingly classy in the style of houses. It reminded us all of Monte Estoril, the very leafy suburb of Lisbon where the avenues are lined jacaranda trees and the wealthy hide behind wrought iron gates and six foot hedges. Merryn got a photo of the house the driver claimed Justin Beiber owned, so she was happy.

And we all had a very pleasant stroll down Rodeo Drive, spotting who was a tourist and who was actually shopping. Not bad for a hundred bucks!

Our last port of call was the Hollywood sign which is deep in private property and heavily guarded. The visitor’s information office had given us directions for the best viewing point, several miles away from downtown. We drove through the hair pinned back streets (also very Portuguese in feel) and finally arrived in a parking spot above Lake Hollywood; the perfect spot to snap away.
Today’s Tune:
Wildlife Watch:

Day 17: Malibu, California

We decided we’d go ‘Californian’ and spend a day hanging out at the beach. So we packed up a picnic and set off for the Malibu Lagoon State Beach. We settled down next to the surf school and spent an enjoyable couple of hours watching the tourists take their lessons. The boys played in surf, played in the lagoon and played in the sand. Merryn, Mark and I dozed quietly and read our books.

Later in the afternoon we decided to head to Santa Monica and visit the pier, the official end to Route 66. Santa Monica is a short drive down HWY1 from Malibu and had a suitable tacky air, despite having a decent sprinkling of celebrity homes. The pier is home to a small amusement park and a lovely old carousel (as seen in The Sting). We didn’t get to see the carousel as it’s closed Tuesdays but the boys had a ball in the amusement park.
It was a fierce battle back through the traffic with a quick pit stop at an even more expensive store to grab something for supper. If we were going to see celebs anywhere it was here – the car park was full of expensive cars but no faces we recognized. Poor old Merryn; she was convinced LA would be awash with the great and the good. Hollywood tomorrow so maybe she’ll have more luck then.
Today’s Tune: The first verse of Stay the Night by James Blunt (Jowan sings it every morning in the shower block much to the consternation of all the other campers – he definitely has his mother’s voice!)
Wildlife Watch: The frog that shared mummy’s shower this morning. Still, less dangerous than a gopher snake!

Day 16: Malibu, California

Mark rose early and disappeared off to the local laundromat whilst the children and I got up slowly and did some ‘tentwork’. The day began with glorious blue skies, rising temperatures and a welcome breeze – we’re back in screenplay territory which was very pertinent as we decide to follow the trail to the M*A*S*H set. Yes, just like everything else in this area, the state park has some serious Hollywood glitz to it. Originally a very upmarket country club for wealthy businessmen, it was bought by 20th Century Fox in 1946 who spotted its potential as a dramatic outdoor film location a stone’s throw from Hollywood. It was renamed Century Ranch and used for films such as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Some Like it Hot, Planet of the Apes, Roots, numerous Tarzan films and, most famously, as the army hospital base in Korea for the film and TV series M*A*S*H. So, we followed the five mile round trip route to the location of the set, stopping for dips in the lakes and rivers to revive the boys in the 89 degree plus temperatures. It was all worth it; the set is deep in the heart of the lush green mountains and made the perfect picnic spot, complete with rusting old ambulance, a defunct helipad and the ubiquitous wooden sign.
We returned back to camp and, after a reviving cup of tea, headed out for a quick stint in Starbucks to catch up on emails and to the supermarket for Merryn and Tristan to shop for the barbecue chicken they were preparing for supper. The perfect end to a perfect day.
Today’s Tune: Suicide is Painless, the theme music to M*A*S*H
Wildlife Watch: Ground squirrels, mule deer, lots of lizards and an exceedingly large toad – or was it a frog? – basking next to the river.

Day 15: Malibu, California

Two fifths of the way through our journey and we have finally landed where we’ve all been longing to go; the Golden Coast of California. And boy was it worth the wait! The Californians say that if the colonists had first landed in California, Virginia would still be a swamp and I can completely understand why. We can just imagine how the pioneers felt; slogging their way across the Midwest plains, battling the desert heat, dodging the arrows and bullets en route, climbing through the San Gabriel mountains and then, finally, descending into the lush, fertile plains of California to witness the pacific ocean glinting in the distance. Pure bliss!
Unfortunately, our day didn’t quite start as it does in the screenplays. We woke up to a thick, heavy fog that slowly lifted to a miserable and overcast sky. For the first time on our trip we contemplated long trousers for the day and took a risk by sticking with shorts. The meteorologist promised sunshine would soon break through but the children and I were not convinced. However all was not lost, we needed to spend the morning doing chores and they could only be done comfortably under grey skies. First stop was the rangers’ station to find out where we could stock up on camping supplies and find a sensibly priced supermarket.
Having ticked both boxes we decided to drive back into Malibu; it’s a 7 mile scenic road that follows the creek through a spectacular canyon the water has carved out over the past million years or so . More importantly, the road was also the setting for the key murder scene in The Postman Always Rings Twice.

Downtown Malibu looks a little past its best but is still the address of choice for the movers and shakers of the entertainment world; mostly in the huge estates that are tucked away on ranches high up in the mountains. In 1993 Barbra Streisand generously donated hers to the Santa Monica Mountains Conservancy for use as a botanical preserve. (True to form Ronald Reagan sold his to the state park). We parked up the car and walked along HWY1 (a beach walk was out of the question as most of it is private!) until we reached Malibu Lagoon State Park where the Creek ends in a glorious lake, currently home to hundreds of pelicans and Canada geese. We called into Malibu Pier, a shining example of a US 50s-style fishing pier, most famously used in the Rockford Files, and spent a small fortune on über cool magnets in the v. trendy end-of-pier store. We were tempted to buy a gorgeous pink dog collar for Missi, featuring VWs and surfboards, but decided we wouldn’t be able to eat for the rest of the week if we did.
The sun began to shine so we decided to hit Surfrider Beach. We were without costumes and towels so the boys decided to strip down to their pants and bathe in the lagoon. In true Californian, laissez-faire style this was completely acceptable. It would probably have resulted in a 911 call in Va. Beach! Just 24-hours into this state and we have already noticed how much more liberal the West Coast is. We weren’t greeted by a long list of dos and don’ts at the campsite, we’re allowed to drink beer next to our tent, we’ve seen a thong on the beach (no, it wasn’t a Dutchman) and a naked man in the carpark! It’s a huge breath of fresh air after spending two years living under the Virginian dictatorship.

After a couple of hours spent dozing on the sand, watching the lazily cool longboarders and enjoying the spectacle of a camera-carrying, remote control helicopter filming the surfers, we decided to head back to the campsite for more blackjack and a curry supper. Unfortunately, real life paid a call and I had to spend several hours filling in a ridiculously long application form for the Devon Return to Teaching course which I actually have to pay for. Still, needs must – we’ve got to pay for this trip somehow or other.
Today’s Tune: Surfin’ USA by The Beach Boys
Wildlife Watch: The gopher snake caught by the ranger outside the shower block. Yikes!

Day 14: Malibu, California

Apologies for the delay in uploading the post - access to the Internet is sparse in state parks and we can't spend all day loitering in Starbucks! All post should now be up-to-date and photos will be added soon. Sorry to keep you all in suspense.

We took our first casualty of the trip this morning. Poor old Mark’s sinuses finally gave up the ghost after days of battling against changing pressure and altitudes. His affliction –eustachian tube-induced sickness and dizziness – meant he had to forgo a full-on, free breakfast but wasn’t quite serious enough to subject the family to me driving them across the desert. He dosed himself up, supped on fruit and yoghurt and bravely drove the family west towards our destination of Malibu, California.
We waved goodbye to Priscilla and Elvis and the delightful staff of the Las Vegas Embassy Suites (I highly recommend this hotel chain to anyone travelling in the USA; they are consistently clean and reliable, give a generous military discount and offer a fantastic cooked-to-order breakfast and free evening drinks reception every day) and set off on the I15. Our route took us across the roasting hot Mojave Desert which appears to be awash in military bases. I had one of those spooky moments reading the last few pages of The Junior Officer’s Reading Club just as he gets posted to the Twentynine Palms Marine Corps base in … the Mojave Desert.

Our first stop was the ghost town of Calico, about 90 miles out of Vegas; a recommend from Jowan’s book Haunted Highways: Ghost Stories of Route 66. Calico is an old mining town that boomed in the late 1800s due to the rise in silver prices and then crashed a decade later as those high prices fell. The population fell from a high of 1,200 to 80 in just under two years. In the 1950s it was resurrected as a tribute to those miners and their lifestyle with the original buildings left restored to their glory and a few others added in for good measure. For a mere $20 bucks we were able to spend an enjoyable couple of steaming hot hours reliving the Wild West and the pioneer lifestyle; panning for gold, trudging through the mine shaft, drinking sarsaparilla out of jars and enjoying the rocking chairs in the shade of the wooden porches.
After exhausting Calico, fully stocked with sepia pix on the children’s cameras and a fridge load of magnets, we headed back on the I15 for the last three hour stretch of our day’s driving. Malibu, California - here we come!

Nearly four hours later, hot, bothered and starving hungry but without supplies, we arrived at Malibu Creek State Park. There was just enough daylight left to get the car unloaded and the tent up. About 8pm Merryn and I dashed into Malibu, to the Brangelina’s local shopping plaza to find a quick supper. We searched high and low through the Ralph Lauren, Juicy Couture and Mac corner stores only to stumble across a supermarket nearly an hour later. We would have asked for directions but most of the people we saw looked like they’d never stepped inside a supermarket in their life! Luckily, a friendly security guard took pity on us and pointed us in the right direction. I wasn’t sure how I’d manage to pluck up enough courage to locate a much-needed Laundromat tomorrow!
Today’s Tune: California Girls by Katy Perry
Wildlife Watch: Three mule deer grazing in the dusk at Malibu Creek

Day 13: Las Vegas, Nevada

We had no desire to see anymore of Vegas so decided to spend the morning digesting our enormous complimentary breakfast, lounging by the hotel pool and catching up on some R&R. The children only managed so much and then retreated to the room to catch up on the Disney Channel and to speak with Elvis and Priscilla, the hotel's resident swans!

After lunch they decided it was too hot to go back into The Strip, we couldn’t even tempt them with a ride on a gondola on the Bellagio’s eight acre indoor lake. So it was back to our books and the pool. That evening they opted for room service and more TV and Mark and I decided to give Vegas one last chance…
Today’s Tune: Tori Amos - 'Don't Make Me Come to Vegas'
Wildlife Watch: The British military on tour in the Embassy Suites pool (not sure why but think it might be something to do with the big USAF base here!)

Day 12: Las Vegas, Nevada

There are only so many staggering views you can take so we did our laundry, packed up camp and continued on our quest west to Las Vegas. It was back on the I40 as we had some miles to cover and Route 66 was a 90 mile detour. No stopping other than a quick one for petrol and Jolly Rangers – our first sweets of the journey – and then onto the Hoover Dam. We drove over the new and very magnificent bypass bridge without even realizing it and we were called over by a bunch of boy scouts (sorry – the Hoover Dam police) to be searched. Luckily the 112 degree heat rather sapped their strength and when they discovered they’d have to climb on the roof to search the roof bag, they gave up and waved us on, believing Mark’s claim we were not carrying propane (take note Homeland Security and Al Qaeda; the Hoover Dam police are a complete waste of time and money!).

Despite the ‘search’ inconvenience, the Dam was definitely worth a stop, if only to gaze at the new bypass bridge which now spans the Dam canyon. We paid our $7 parking fee and decided to forgo the $30 a head tour, choosing to walk the Dam in the piercing heat. The children were, of course, completely nonplussed only wanting to know how many had perished in the building of the Dam and where could we buy the fridge magnet!
Next stop Vegas! We drove across the desert and could see the city nestling amidst the smog from about 25 miles. Embassy Suites came up trumps yet again and offered a welcome relief from the heat and dust of Mather campground. After bathing off the campsite dust, ready for the Vegas grime, we stepped out into the heat in search of the New York, New York resort where we decided to try the recommended Italian for pasta and pizza. OMG, nothing had quite prepared me for this. I’ve obviously been living in the US for too long as I was so taken aback by the seediness of the place. The pavements are lined with metal boxes filled with soft porn magazines and the strip was heaving with touts essentially selling girls (and they had the T-shirts to prove it!). It was a quick lesson in life for Tristan who wanted an explanation of how exactly you could sell girls and why all the business cards had pictures of naked women – and this from the boy who was caught surfing the net for ‘hot ladies’ only three years ago. Merryn and Jowan did a pretty good job of spotting the ladies of the night and I decided two nights in Vegas was probably two too many.

The pizza and pasta was pretty good but eye wateringly expensive. We then cruised the south end of the Strip, watched the street entertainers, the Bellagio fountains and decided there’s only so much tackiness you can take in one night. Dinner had cleared out our cash so it was a long walk back to the hotel with much moaning from Tristan who had simply wanted to stay and gamble at the casinos. Sigh!
Today’s Tune: Viva Las Vegas by Elvis Presley
Wildlife Watch: Most of it unmentionable!

Day 11: Grand Canyon South, Arizona

Decided to spend the day hiking! Mark was keen to follow part of the Bright Angel Trail into the Canyon but I heeded the rangers warnings about temperatures etc and we opted for the paved path along the rim. A complete nightmare; not dissimilar to navigating your way down Oxford Street in the run up to Christmas. Three miles down the track we made it to the lodge for cold beers and a hearty lunch and decided the afternoon should be spent heading west along the rim in an attempt to get away from the tourists. (The national park receives in excess of 5 million visitors a year and most would appear to be there in June).

So, we caught the free bus out and hopped off where the path becomes unpaved. Spectacular views and relatively peaceful; we saw our first California condor swooping below us. We hiked for another three miles or so and watched the shadows lengthen in the afternoon sun. The bus delivered us back to the campsite in time for a quick supper before heading back to the Desert View Point for the sunset. One of the Park Rangers regaled us with the story of Powell’s expedition running the Colorado River in 18-something-or-other and then we watched the sunset spectacle. An even more staggering panorama to end a day full of staggering panoramas.

Today’s Tune: The Grand Canyon Trail (theme music to the film) sung, I think, by Judy Garland
Wildlife Watch: A day to impress Bill Oddie - Mule deer grazing by the showers; a magnificent elk and partner wandering past our tent; the rare Californian condor; an Abert’s squirrel; a skink and the back end of a snake (possibly a rattler???) but only seen by Mark.

Day 10: Grand Canyon South, Arizona

Woke early at the Wigwam Motel and decided to do a spot of breakfast and camping supplies shopping at the Safeway conveniently located over the road. Returned with our trolley load, that was squashed into any available space in the car, and then chatted to fellow travellers as we breakfasted outside our wigwams.

Once on the road, our first stop was the iconic Winslow from the Eagles’ song Take It Easy (opening line; “Standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona…..”). Much to the children’s embarrassment we insisted on singing it as we drove to the very corner (allegedly). We knew it was the very corner because it came complete with bronze statue of guitar boy and a sparkling flatbed Ford parked up next to it! No girl – My Lord! – she only featured in the mural behind. Over the road was the Standing on a Corner store where we wasted even more money on tacky souvenirs.

Back on the road to Flagstaff, where we took the scenic US89 & HWY64 to the south rim of the Grand Canyon. This route climbs up the Navajo Nation desert and onto the Kaibab Plateau. The views were incredible; north across the desiccated Colorado Plateau, east to the Painted Desert, west to the Kaibab National Forest and south to the San Francisco peaks. Altitude sickness and painful sinuses kicked in once more as rose up to 7000ft above sea level. But we grinned and bore it! We stopped at the Little Colorado Canyon to take pix and buy a few Navajo souvenirs. We contemplated the rugs but at $650 dollars for one the size of a doormat, decided to save our pennies for a hotel in Vegas instead.

On entering the Grand Canyon National Park we veered off to the Desert View Point for a few more pix and then onto Mather Campsite. We set up the tent in scorching temperatures and took lots of rests – lack of oxygen apparently. The evening was spent teaching the children Blackjack in preparation for Vegas.
Today’s Tune: Take it Easy by The Eagles – of course!
Wildlife Watch: Our first Elk! Pulled over to take pictures along with about a hundred others

Day 9: Holbrook, Arizona

We left Albuquerque by the I40 and carried on straight to Grants where we picked up the scenic Highway 53 heading through Western New Mexico. It loops between Grants and Gallup and crosses the continental divide. Covering the Zuni and Navajo Indian Reservations, it is described in Road Trip USA as one of the most beautiful places on the planet. The road skirts the foothills of the Zuni Mountains and travels the edge of the massive El Malpais lava flow – thousands of acres of pitch-black rock, some of it 115,000 years old. We passed the El Morro monument, a 200ft sandstone cliff with 400 year old graffiti from the Spanish discoverers. It was midday in the desert and we really didn’t feel up to the 2mile walk to the top so carried onto Gallup.
Lunch was at the El Rancho hotel, another Route 66 icon. Built by the brother of a Hollywood film director in the 1930s, the hotel was frequented by matinee idols and the rooms are all named after the stars who stayed in them; the Marx brothers, Doris Day, Burt Lancaster, Ronald Reagan and so on. The boys were particularly delighted by the burgers’ side of jelly beans but also loved the huge southwestern style lobby filled with hunting memorabilia, a walk-in stone fireplace and an entire three-piece suite made out of cattle horns.
The last stretch of the day’s driving was 70 miles to Holbrook, Arizona. We checked in at the Wigwam Motel at 3:30pm and left the children to veg in their concrete wigwam. Mark and I headed off in search of a cold beer and bumped into two British couples from Abingdon doing Route 66 via Virgin Holidays. We swapped tales and then headed back to the wigwam for supper and an early night.
Today’s Tune: Mustang Sally by The Commitments
Wildlife Watch: Mustang horses at Ramah on the Navejo Indian Reservation

Day 8: Albuquerque, New Mexico

We took the scenic Turquoise Trail to Santa Fe, the state capital and, apparently, one of the USA’s prime vacation destinations. We stopped en route at Tinkertown, a delightful piece of wacky roadside Americana. It was dreamt up by a guy called Ross Ward and is a ramshackle old building (created mainly from wheels and bottles) that is home to a vast array of miniature wooden figures fixed in incredibly intricate and often animated settings – all created by Ross “We Did All This While You Were Watching TV” Ward. Apparently the Dalai Lama found it delightful, and so did we!

The trail continued through more cowboy and Indian film footage and we finally ended up in Santa Fe. Stopped at the Burro Café for lunch and gave lots of travelling advice to our waitress who was about to spend a semester studying at Stirling University. (Could she have found a greater contrast to Santa Fe? Probably not). We walked around the shady plaza, viewed the oldest public building in America (The Governor’s Palace est. 1610) and strolled into the Santa Fe Basilica – possibly the best kept cathedral in the world thanks to its many sponsors, even the Stations of the Cross had their patrons listed next to each painting!

Altitude sickness got the best of us once more – we were another 3000ft above sea level – and we took the freeway back to Kirtland for our last night under canvas in New Mexico. Despite having had a fabulous time here, the 5 o’clock dust storm convinced us it is time to move on.
Today’s Tune: Santa Fe by Jonathon Larson
Wildlife Watch: Wild horses alongside the Turquoise Trail (possibly American quarter horses as favoured by the Native Americans)

Day 7: Albuquerque, New Mexico

We decided to spend a quiet day by the base pool having some much needed down time. It reminded us all of the happy days at JHQ Lisbon, temperature in the 90s, a cool breeze and the backdrop of the mountains. New Mexico definitely reminds us of Portugal and Spain; the climate, the landscape and the ability of the New Mexicans to sit back, relax and enjoy life.

We headed into Albuquerque’s Old Town in the late afternoon, taking the old Route 66 through some seriously dodgy parts of town. We initially parked up next to a Rumblers’ Rally but after a quick look round the classic cars decided it probably wasn’t the safest place to leave the car. After finding a more secure slot, we walked through the old plaza – full of adobe buildings and forced the boys to eat Mexican food for their supper (surprisingly successful!). It was a delightful evening, watching the end of a wedding in the square and browsing through the gift shops and art galleries, but we had to head back to camp early as we were all shattered and desperately in need of our beds. We learnt the next morning, from the campsite hosts, we were probably suffering from the early stages of altitude sickness. On top of this we’ve all been suffering from watering eyes and sore throats due to the smoke from the Arizona fires!
Today’s Tune: Albuquerque by Prefab Sprout
Wildlife Watch: Gofers (or prairie dogs) keeping watch over their babies next to the base pool

Day 6: Albuquerque, New Mexico

Took the children into downtown Sayre for a flashback to the dark days of the Grapes of Wrath and then left town on the I40 towards the Texan panhandle. Thank goodness we were travelling through the panhandle – only 200 miles of pancake flat terrain rather than 700 in the rest of Texas. We swept past the tiny town of Groom with its gigantic stainless steel cross (19 stories high) and leaning Tower of Pisa water tower, and headed towards Cadillac Ranch, just outside of Amarillo.

Cadillac Ranch is ten Cadillacs upended in the plains. They were set up by an artistic community as a tribute to the open road, and are now an evolving piece of artwork. You simply turn up with your spray paint and graffiti to your heart’s content. Needless to say this licensed vandalism meant Jowan and Tristan were in their element.
We continued through the panhandle, unintentionally bypassing the Route 66 midway point (Mark was driving, Rachel was sleeping!), crossed into New Mexico and stopped at Tucumcari to lunch beneath a gigantic sombrero at La Cita.

We instantly fell in love with New Mexico; it was like driving through a spaghetti western, rugged desert terrain set against a backdrop of mountains. Albuquerque nestles in the foothills of the Sandia range, at about 5000ft above sea level. We pulled into Kirtland Air Force Base and set up camp for three nights.

Today’sTune: Is this the Way to Amarillo by Peter Kay (as we’re staying on a military base!)
Wildlife Watch: 10,000 cattle corralled next to the I40, unfortunately none of them Texan Long Horns